I was born and raised in Burley, Idaho. I got married when I was 18 years old. The reason I got married was because
I was pregnant. By the time I turned 23 years old, I was divorced with two little babies to raise alone. My folks were really
good to help me, but the kids' dad never came around even though he only lived twenty miles away. I was alone for eleven years
until I got married again. That marriage lasted four and a half years. And then I was alone again, only this time really alone.
My daughter was 18 by then and out on her own, doing her own thing. My son didnt want much to do with me because of the divorce.
He stayed there. The man whom I was divorcing was adopted him.
So, feeling abandoned, I went to drinking hard and heavy. I
had just graduated from the local college and was out of work. I was in a position where I had to move in with my mom and
dad. How degrading!! Forty years old and living with mom and dad!! So I drank a lot. I went on runners, three and four days
at a time.
I finally got a job working in an office. I really liked it but I was still drinking. The lady who was my boss, knew that
I was still drinking. She was not very nice to me. After about a year and a half, I found another job in a casino about 75
miles away. I moved to a little town where I could ride the bus to and from work every day.
Shortly after I moved, I met Bob. We started living together
within two weeks. He didnt drink except on occasion. When we drank together we fought like cats and dogs. I quit drinking.
Bob did like to smoke pot. I had smoked pot in the past, so I smoked with him. At first, I would only take a couple of hits
at a time because I didnt want to get too high. But as time wore on, I was keeping right up with him. Occasionally we snorted
some crank, but that was just once in a while on a weekend.
After about a year, we moved to Twin Falls. That was probably the biggest mistake that we ever made. But at the time, I thought
it was a good decision. My daughter and grandchild lived there and so did Bobs kids. I thought that would be a prime place
to be so that we could have more contact with our children.
We soon got involved with people who sold crank. We were selling
pot and so we would trade the pot for crank. The only problem with that was that it wasnt our pot to trade. We owed our dealer
money for the pot that we had traded. One night he brought a guy over to our house with a gun to entice us to pay him. The
next day we went and sold our television, VCR, and stereo to get the money to pay the guy.
We snorted the crank. Bob, years ago, would shoot it into his
arm. Bob started doing that again occasionally. But as time wore on, he did it all the time. I could tell that he was getting
a lot higher than I was, so I begged him to let me try it. It took a lot of begging, but he finally consented. BIG MISTAKE!!
The reason that I had never wanted to put a needle in my arm before was because I was afraid that I would like it. I did.
We sold everything that we owned and put it into our arms.
We lost ourselves in that crank and almost lost each other.
I did not like myself anymore. No one else liked me much either. Gone was the sweet, loving person that I had been, to this
person that even I didnt know. I had no qualms about telling someone to F--- Off if I didnt like what they said or did. Bob
and I fought most of the time. When we fought, we really got with the program. We were using about a gram a day for about
a year, sometimes more, if we had the money. My kids seldom came around. When they did, it was with a lot of concern all over
their faces. That was just as bad as not seeing them. The crank they had there had heroin in it. Therefore, it was very addicting.
Every time we would even think about quitting, there would be someone knocking on the door that either had some that they
wanted us to try, or sell for them. Our house was a total disaster. The electricity and the water had been shut off because
we didn’t pay our bills. I got pretty good with a flashlight and a candle.
Finally we got to the point where we knew that we had to quit
or we were going to die or go to jail. We didn’t want to quit, we just knew that we had to, to survive. It was awful.
I was in a state of mind and body that I had never thought was possible. I knew that we had to get out of there.
Bobs son had escaped out of there by moving to Salem, Oregon.
He had given us an open invitation to come too. I gathered up enough money by selling what things that we had left and went
directly to the travel agency. I bought two one-way tickets to Salem. I had to get them three weeks in advance for the low
price. In the following three weeks we got evicted from our house, slept on the front lawn, and finally moved to a friend's
house that liked the drug as much as we did. Bob didn’t want to move, but I knew that we had to. We had to go some place
where we didn’t know anyone. No connections.
The day finally came and we flew out of Boise to Portland and
rode the bus to Salem, Oregon. We had no money. We stayed with Bobs son for about a week and a half, until he told us we had
to leave. We fought all the time because we were not on drugs anymore. When we were in Idaho we tolerated each other when
we were high. If we were high, we got along just fine, but if we were out of drugs and Jonezin, Watch Out!!
We were now homeless. We started living on the river in Salem.
One night when we were hitchhiking, this lady stopped and picked us up. When we got into the car she said, "Boy, the Lord
must really love you. He told me to stop and pick you up and I dont ever pick up hitchhikers." She told us where her church
was and invited us to come. This happened within a week after we arrived in Salem.
In 1980, I had accepted the Lord as my personal savior. I had
always wanted to serve Him fully but never knew how to get there. It was a lot easier to drink or do drugs and try to drown
When I met Bob, he had started going to Bible studies at a Christian
church. He was a Mormon and did not believe in Jesus but wanted to get closer to God. This really interested me because I
did believe. So I offered to go to Bible study with him. I kept telling him that Jesus is God in the flesh who died for us
to save us from sin, because He loves us so much. He would not buy it, no matter how much I talked. One Sunday, we went to
church and the preacher was reading the scripture that said the same things that I had been telling him. That Sunday, he bowed
his head and asked Jesus to forgive him for his sins and asked Him to come into his heart. I knew that I was saved, because
there is another verse that says that He will never leave us or forsake us.
We went to church on a regular basis until Bob’s ex-wife
came into the picture. We tried and tried to get married but the pastors of the churches we attended told us that if Bob and
I were to ever get married that the Lord would leave us. That was mans version and we knew it because the Lord had already
been blessing us. He knew that we wanted to get right with Him. At one point Bob left me and went back to his ex-wife to see
if that was what the Lord really wanted.
Those pastors forgot to mention that there is grace, or in other
words, forgiveness. The Bible says: For by grace are you saved, through faith not by works; it is a gift of God lest any man
should boast. Bob came back to me. We were shunned from the churches because they forgot grace. God loves us and corrects
us in love. Men sometimes try and help God by correcting us themselves. People then turn away from God. He wants us to come
to Him because He knows that we can trust no man. He is the only one we can trust. His love is the only love that we can depend
After the lady picked us up, we tried to find that church that
she had told us about but to no avail. One day when we were riding our bikes, we stopped to rest and looked up. We were standing
right in front of that church!! I went in to check it out and found out that they had been praying for us. God brought us
We went to Bible study the next night. We received the baptism
of Jesus. This is what I had been lacking since I had accepted the Lord. I had always been taught that I already had it. But
what I found out from reading my Bible is that when I said the sinners prayer, the Holy Spirit came and indwelt my body. When
I asked for the Baptism of Jesus, I received the POWER of Jesus.
Satan does not want us to have this Power, because if we do,
we can rebuke him in the name of Jesus and he has to flee. He has many demons everywhere that are tormenting people because
they do not know any better. The Bible also says, "My people die for lack of knowledge." Here are just a few of their names:
fear, alcohol, drug abuse, witchcraft, division, jealousy, failure, anger to name just a few. Satan wants to get in there
and make us miserable so that we blame God. When it is not God at all, its Satan. Satan is here to kill, to steal and to destroy.
Jesus came to touch, to heal and to save. God loves (you and
me) so much that He came to earth as a man, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins. When He did that He defeated Satan. Satan
is under our feet. When we rebuke him in Jesus name, he has to flee. Jesus is the name above all names. All knees have to
bow at the name of Jesus. The demons tremble at the name of Jesus.
We do not have to change anything to come to Jesus. We cant
on our own anyway. We need His help. He changes our hearts. But He gave us a free will. We have to do the asking. Here is
the prayer that you need to repeat. You can say it right where you are. You do not have to be in church to talk to God. It
helps to go to church and be around those kinds of people instead of the world. It gives us encouragement to know there are
others who have been there too. Jesus is the best friend that you will ever have. He will love you no matter what and He will
never leave you. He wants to bless you.
Jesus, I know that I can not do
it on my own. Please forgive me for all my sins. Please come in to my heart and be my personal savior. Please baptize me with
Your Holy Spirit. I receive You now. Thank you Jesus.
In Jesus name, Amen.
Bob and Susie Edwards
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