I am writing
this in the hopes that I can be a tool to someone else that has been where I have been, and to let you know there is hope
for you if you want it!
I have been through just about every kind of abuse that there
is. It started at the age of seven when my brother started to abuse me sexually; I also had a mother who physically abused
me. The bright spot of my younger years was my Dad. He was my world and taught me what true love was all about.
Then just before I turned nine, both
of my parents were killed four days after Christmas. I went to live with relatives who were my first contact with so called
Christians. I went through many years of physical, mental, and emotional abuse during this time. The Priest at their church
also betrayed me. At this time I hated God and His church for all the pain and misery I was going through, also I hated Him
for taking my Dad from me as he was the only love I had every known. I became a very hard and untrusting young woman. At age,
14 I was sent away and told I could not come home. I became a runaway and it was at this time I turned to drugs and alcohol
as a means of escape from my pain. I just wanted to be numb, they became my best friends, and I wanted no others. I kept everyone
at arms length and trusted no one.
I continued
to use for almost 30 years. I was on a slow road to self-suicide and did not care. Then one night after a three-day binge,
I came home, got down on my knees and begged God to help me. I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ that night and have never
been the same. He brought me out of the depths of darkness and into His light and loving arms. He has showed me a love I have
never known before. He took all my addictions from me and by His grace; He has blessed me with the ability to forgive the
people who abused me in my past. He has taken all the animosity and anger from me and filled me with His love and forgiveness.
Some of these people were at my baptism.
Through His
Grace, I went back to school after 25 years and got my GED. I then went on to college where I finished my first semester with
a 4.0. I am working toward a degree, which will enable me to help children who are where I was. I can now use my past and
turn it around for God's glory. I also sponsor other recovering addicts and am able to be used as God's tool to lead them
to Christ. None of this would be possible without His love, grace, guidance, and strength in my life.
For those
of you that think there is no hope or that no one cares, please listen to me. I am living proof of what God's love can do.
All you have to do is ask Him for help, He is waiting for you with open, loving arms! He will fill you with a love and guidance
you have never known. He loves you as His own, for you are His child, and He loves you unconditionally. You do not have to
clean up your act before you go to Him, as He wants you as you are and He will change you into a new creation through Christ,
it is like dieing and being REBORN! I thank God everyday for saving me; my only regret is that I did not turn to Him a long
time ago.
If any of you would like to talk please feel free to e-mail me at anytime, remember you are never alone, as
Jesus Christ is always with you, I know now that He was always there with me in my past I just didn't know it.
God Bless
You, Lee
alecre32@aol.com
